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All Deviations




In just a moment twisted time
deep set wound so scarcely stitchéd mine
wrenched open darkley runs as thine
heart fails to heed and starts to pine
for the maiden wooed the hearts combined
©2006-2008 *Dagonus
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Submitted: July 21, 2006
File Size: 304 bytes
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Comments: 7
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Author's Comments

I had the first three lines hit me pretty quick at my parents' house today. The other two I tacked on to try and fill it out. Originally I was trying for quite a few more, but they didn't feel right so i took those out. I felt they were taking it away from the feeling I wanted to convey.
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~LoveThyEmo:iconLoveThyEmo: Jul 21, 2006, 7:18:04 PM
I luff it.

First comment?
*Dagonus:iconDagonus: Jul 21, 2006, 7:24:52 PM
Thank you. And yes, you're the first comment on this one :)

--
-Dagonus

Beware the new American Gods; Safety and Efficiency. In their names we will be made slaves.

I'm sure glad I wasn't an abortion. How about you?

"Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees."
~LoveThyEmo:iconLoveThyEmo: Jul 21, 2006, 7:25:40 PM
Yay.

And it is a very good poem. ::hug::
*Starkadder:iconStarkadder: Jul 21, 2006, 7:49:42 PM
wonderful ^_^

The 4th line seems a little more "added just to be added" and doesn't quite feel the same as the others, but in light of what surrounds it, it still works

--
God save me from my friends. I can protect myself from my enemies.
*Dagonus:iconDagonus: Jul 21, 2006, 8:33:20 PM
Yea. 3 to 4s transition is less than perfect, but I coudln't figure out how to do it any better and still get the thought I wanted across.

--
-Dagonus

Beware the new American Gods; Safety and Efficiency. In their names we will be made slaves.

I'm sure glad I wasn't an abortion. How about you?

"Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees."
*Dagonus:iconDagonus: Jul 21, 2006, 8:34:01 PM
Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

--
-Dagonus

Beware the new American Gods; Safety and Efficiency. In their names we will be made slaves.

I'm sure glad I wasn't an abortion. How about you?

"Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees."